60XXX

all i have to say about this is...

what the fuck.
i'm so confused.

but on another note...

in a bad mood, and the ice cream man outside wont shut the hell up. i guess he knows my neighbors so he'll sit outside their house talking to them for at least an hour with that stupid music playing. last time the cops told him to "shut the fuck up". Yeah. I love my town. it would be a lot better and less annoying if he was playing songs off of "Infinity On High". but we all know that wouldn't happen.

just needed to do my daily complaining.
thanks.
xo.

i'm not stupid.

i know what you're trying to do
and it's not going to work.
did you really think calling me
would clear the situation up?
as if your immaturity would just fix it?
does bitching me out make you feel strong?
does harassing a 16 year old girl
make you feel like a man?
cause you never were a man.
you were more of a girl than i am.
if you were calling to say sorry
which i doubt you were
then you should know that i'm not.
and i wont forgive you...ever.

sticks and stones may break my bones
but words will always hurt worse...

please dont go now. please dont fade away. pt 2.

was supposed to go see all time low today in maryland. probably the most important show to me all summer. fall out boy hasnt been touring. my whole summer has sucked. so i was counting on this to cheer me up a little. two of my friends dropped out. so now me and jamie are stuck two hours away with no way to get there. i'm pretty much devastated. i spent all morning crying and shaking and yelling at...everything. i'm just pissed. depressed. hurt. i wanna run but i dont know where. hiding in my own skin because i know no one will care. spending hours trying to find any way to get out of this place just for a few hours of happiness. if its not obvious i dont usually know what happiness is unless i'm crushed against a piece of metal singing every word of every song and hoping by some chance the lead singer will look down and notice me. wont get noticed today.

welcome home...

you throw love, hate, and god around like they're just words put on paper. as if they mean nothing at all. you throw me around as if i'm just another story. i mean nothing at all. but you mean nothing at all. you live your life in the slow lane, each car passing reminding you of how you're running out of gas and you're ten minutes late for...everything. you tell me you wouldn't mind dying. not living past 30. could it be because you sit around all day and worry about how you look, as opposed to your goals, dreams, and life in general? do you ever think? do you ever feel? you break hearts left and right and never seem to give a damn, but as soon as your heart is mentioned it's a tragic story of love, loss, and "oh nevermind. lets change the subject." but what about every girl that put her heart on the line for you? what about every girl that dealt with your shit just as long as i did? what about every other fool just like me who believed every word you said after you convinced them to, then got heartbroken, bruised, and left in the cold after so long? it's about damn time someone stands up and shows you how wrong you are. i know how you work. i've heard it all. i know just about everything about you and how you play your games. don't play games with someone who can play them better. but i'm not sinking down to your level because your level is hell. i've been there before. i'm staying on my level. and honestly, you dont know how i work. you'll find out.

finished a song i've been working on.
this one's actually gonna get recorded.
myspaced.
and hopefully just out there. at all. anywhere.

PS - it's really cool to get back on this thing to find a comment on my last post. it makes me happy, like someone actually reads this stuff. whoevers been commenting, thank you. =] <3