please dont go now. please dont fade away. pt 2.

was supposed to go see all time low today in maryland. probably the most important show to me all summer. fall out boy hasnt been touring. my whole summer has sucked. so i was counting on this to cheer me up a little. two of my friends dropped out. so now me and jamie are stuck two hours away with no way to get there. i'm pretty much devastated. i spent all morning crying and shaking and yelling at...everything. i'm just pissed. depressed. hurt. i wanna run but i dont know where. hiding in my own skin because i know no one will care. spending hours trying to find any way to get out of this place just for a few hours of happiness. if its not obvious i dont usually know what happiness is unless i'm crushed against a piece of metal singing every word of every song and hoping by some chance the lead singer will look down and notice me. wont get noticed today.