words turn into fists. fists turn into shaking hands held in handcuffs. he yells and throws a punch over nothing. kicking and screaming and still trying to figure out what could've gone wrong. anger in his eyes, hes taking the walk of shame. the path that no one has seen quite like he has. and still i wonder what hes thinking. why he did it. if that much anger has been locked inside of him for all this time. what made him let it out? who told him to let it out on me?
so i sit and pray that one day this life will get easier. one day this life will be everything i wanted it to be and i wont have to regret anything. i dream of feeling happy because i cant do it in reality. i smile often but it hides 16 years of insomnia and bullshit. you still wonder what makes me stay alive. it's the words and music pulsing through my headphones. it's the way the floor feels when its vibrating because of the sound coming from the giant speakers that line a stage every night. it's the way the lights from stages shine in my eyes, blinding all uncertainty. it's the way i can pour everything i have into a few words and no one needs to know what they mean as long as they communicate clearly. you wonder why i've been dancing since i was 2 and a half, but still i want to be around music for the rest of my life. you wonder why i spend so much money and time going to shows. because its so clear. it's so real. it validates my existance. if you can't believe the words you've been given, how can you scream them? how can you sing them? how can you understand them? if you cant hear whats happening behind the man singing, "this aint a scene its a god damn arms race", how can you say you're hearing everything he's feeling?
he strikes a chord and i get chills.
they run straight through me.
and he keeps me singing along.
so that i never have to feel alone again.
he keeps me translating thoughts.
so i dont have to keep them locked inside.
words should only build up through ink.
he keeps me thinking.
he keeps me dreaming.
he keeps me wishing.
he keeps me...
alive.
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