note: dont drink vodka when you're depressed.
spent most of last night trying to figure out who i am. i just need a major change. i'm tired of being stuck in northern virginia. i want to break out and never look back because every inch of this town makes me sick.
spent a lot of last night crying and trying to figure out why no one will see me the way i want them to see me. like there's this guy that i kinda like but i know that he doesnt like me in the same way. he wants to be friends. and i'd be fine with that, except he's fucking perfect. i can't be down when he's around because he makes me smile way too much. he's one of three people in the world that has truely made me feel good enough and worth something. and it kinda hurts that he doesnt know that...
My best friend Steph knows me better than I know myself. She's been here for me since first grade when we couldn't figure out how to spell "Devil" on the bus home from school. She gives the best advice and I'm so glad that I have a friend like her. Last night I sent her a really long message about how I was feeling and she sent me one of the best responses I've ever gotten. I told her I don't feel like I fit in and she said, "I felt the same way. And it goes along with that whole wanting a good boyfriend thing. Because if you cant love yourself, no one else will." And she's totally right.
I think I'm gonna start over.
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1 comment:
it's always good to have a great friend that will be there no matter what. I am lucky enough to have a friend like that.
:]]
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